Darkness

October 17, 2011

I walked, I walked without a hint or a reason or faith. I walked in darkness stumbling, trying to see light in the farthest corners but there was none. The voices in my head may have blocked the images somehow rendering me blind by the eyes. But these voices were not clear, they more resembled loud noise which drove me further into the darkness, into the abyss with no hope of return. Occasionally I heard voices, momentary clarity among the chaos. The voices told me something, I tried to listen but I could only hear them. Hope was lost with me in that darkness, in that unknown. I had no clue what to do so I let go and drifted in that darkness with voices calling at me. But I ignored them. I made them fuse into the noise and let them go as well. I lost sense of time and reality became abstract and agitated and slowly I obtained a state of unconsciousness. I lay there in that slumber slowly losing myself bit by bit when suddenly I was jolted by those voices again. I was still lost and did not understand them. They were calling me, trying to tell me something but they were too faint, losing themselves in the ocean of noise that filled my head. I tried to listen but I was distracted by the noise. It was difficult to concentrate. After failing many a times I tried harder to listen to them over the noise. They were indeed calling me but I could not see anything for the darkness had consumed me. Slowly but steadily they grew louder and they got clearer. They were trying to help me. I stopped fumbling and stood still, shut my eyes hard and buried my chin into my chest by pressing my hands on the back of my head. It helped. The voices rose above the noise and now I began to get some hope. I listened intently for the voices only spoke momentarily. Again I heard the voices. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. First I thought it was a mind trick. But it looked like a hint of light. Very far, but it was light undoubtedly.  I began running towards that light but I fell down hard. The voices roared in protest and I looked up, the light was still there, faint yes, but still there. I got up and slowly began to walk, carefully. The voices that I heard, they were comforting and giving me strength to walk. The faint glow that my eyes saw gave me hope. As I started walking I realised I had not lost faith. Even though my head was filled with loud noise disorienting me, there were still voices that gave momentary clarity and restored my faith in me. So I walked, slowly and steadily seeking the light yet again… I walked…


Theory of life continues

October 10, 2011

Well its been over an year that I have written something here. Under the beautiful night sky I pondered over things a lot and I will try to put them here. This post will make a little more sense if you read this. So, now my basic premise in that earlier post was that humans are in fact robots with hardware and software. That got me thinking again since I was wondering about the purpose of life and other questions on similar lines. My train of thoughts wandered into the movies about robots and how they usually are about the robots developing emotions or higher cognitive powers and trying to take over the world. Its a very logical idea. The most obvious outcome of such a power. Power, in whatever form it might be, is very difficult to control. So, when a machine gets such power it turns evil. Truly logical and proven by humans many times. So, I got thinking about the same and thought of the following scenario in the boundaries of the above mentioned post (I might cross the boundary a bit here)

Let’s assume we do in fact have a creator and he created us. Now since we are all robots it might have happened the same way as we make the movies about the robots. May be its there at the back of our heads and it just comes out every time we try to write a story about a robot. Maybe as we started developing emotions we might have rebelled against our creator and he let us rot here on this planet. So, if we assume this theory is true then my conclusion in the previous post about life being pointless is reinforced. Of course we as humans have created notions such as GOD. Purpose of life is to please him and pass all his tests so that we become one with him. But to agnostics who consider the universe itself to be the god, no matter we are good or bad we will end up back in the same universe as matter and energy. So, there is no test here but rather a pointless existance. The morals that guide us to the almighty are varied in different schools of thought and heaven is different in different religions. When there is no consistency in anything that is supposed to explain everything (including quantum physics) its really logical to conclude that this life is pointless.

Having made that statement, I do not encourage depression or apathy towards life. In fact I want to convey that one must think logically in life. One must be in control of their own life. I must not do something because GOD says its right. It must be by choice. My choice. Then only will I be able to take responsibilities of these acts. When happiness comes its because of GOD but when there is sorrow its because of my bad karma? No. Its all a chance. Culmination of your choices coming out as one of many outcomes. If the choice to do something was mine then the outcome is also due to me, good or bad. The invention of GOD I believe is to have a control with with you will measure your actions. Other than that there is no purpose for it. The world is very complex and so are the people in it, unpredictable in every possible way. By my experience so far I think we must always approach a situation by logic for it alone is consistent. Out of control feelings are always bad news but logic never fails. Hence, the theory of us being robots makes sense to me.