February 12, 2012

Some times you suddenly reach a state where you start observing your thought process as it keeps happening. Meaning that you are thinking about something and suddenly that is set into automatic mode and you start observing that train of thoughts as a third person. I don’t know if this happens with everyone or not, but its something that I always experience when I am saturated with thoughts. Its kind of creepy and I can be in that state for a few minutes before that train of thought breaks away. Its like overclocking my mind for a few minutes and using hyperthreads to access information stored in there.

So what?

Well, it kind of gives me bird’s eye view of the things that were going on in my mind. When I see that collectively it almost always makes me laugh. I am sure everyone has, some time in their life, wondered how they ended up thinking about something that was going on in their mind and try to trace back the train of thought that led them to that point. But more often than not we fail to complete that trace. But when I am in this special state I always know where I started and where I ended. For example I start thinking about a voltage regulator and end up thinking about my niece’s way of pointing finger in general direction whenever I ask her any question. I reach there by thinking through food, movie, a black hole and many other things. The space out itself may span a solid 15 to 20 minutes covering more than 50 specific yet related topics about which I would think. It always involves some or the other moral question of substantial importance. Yet the whole chain starts and ends with ridiculous thoughts.

As if this whole lot of wondering was not enough, I start thinking about why one thought triggered the next one specifically and not any other thought. Like a blackhole should trigger a thought about stars or CERN and not about a hole in one of pants pocket from where my bike keys kept falling. That hardly qualifies as a blackhole that eats everything thrown its way. I guess my pocket also did the same thing on a much lower scale. That again leads to a new thought process trying to connect one thought to another but the funny thing is that this too breaks away from the main function of connecting the previous train of thoughts and end up creating a different chain that again leads to ridiculous ending. So, that’s how a lazy afternoon or the time when sitting with open mouth in front of an open book is spent. Always these thoughts are triggered by some events that have taken place before, recent or otherwise. Every time I have analysed such thoughts I have found it to be true. This is just a distraction that’s starts of a long chain of thoughts that lead you nowhere. That’s why I sometimes feel there should really be a device where you could store some of these memories removed from your mind. Just to keep me from wandering around in my world of thoughts…